Hunter recalled that the man\u2019s name was Chris something. Hemsworth? Pine? Evans? Oh well, did it even matter? He was blond and handsome and had a mouth full of white teeth and was everything Hunter hated in the world. Also, he was a paleontologist.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019d assumed T-Rexes were extinct, of course,\u201d Chris Pinesworth said. \u201cBut based on the bite pattern we\u2019ve found in the remains of the victims, we know that whatever\u2019s terrorizing our community is a carnivore and that it has a jaw larger than any beast currently catalogued. In short, it\u2019s a T-Rex. What doesn\u2019t exist is vampires. So if you all could\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
Hunter grabbed the mic from the moderator, sending up a feedback screech that brought the room to a respectful silence.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere certainly is<\/em> such a thing as vampires,\u201d he said. \u201cThose victims have been drained of blood.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSome of them,\u201d Chris Hempratt agreed. \u201cSome of them were bitten in half. And I have to point out that being bitten in half will naturally tend to deprive one of blood.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSome of them were drained of blood without being bitten in half.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSo what are you saying?\u201d the skinny man asked. \u201cWe\u2019ve got a T-Rex and<\/em> a vampire? That seems liked a pretty big coincidence that not one, but two, mythical creatures are terrorizing our town.\u201d<\/p>\n Hunter flipped his long black bangs out of his eyes and fixed Chris with a heavy-lidded glare. \u201cNot two creatures. One. What we\u2019ve got is a blood-sucking T-Rex, a shapeshifting vampire dinosaur.\u201d<\/p>\n The crowd gasped.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a bold theory, Mr. \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s Hunter. And I know my vampires. I\u2019ve dedicated my life to hunting them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWait, so, you\u2019re a vampire hunter named Hunter?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you\u2019re a blond hero named Chris. No one\u2019s getting points for originality here. Look, it\u2019s a requirement, OK?\u201d People always teased him about his name and it so happened that he was very sensitive. As all goths were.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a requirement that vampire hunters be named Hunter?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, that at least one character in every M\/M romance be named Hunter.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, so you\u2019re \u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes. Gay.\u201d He met Chris Henpine\u2019s eyes with unabashed challenge. \u201cAnd you and I can do this one of two ways. Friends to lovers or enemies to lovers. It\u2019s up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWho says we have to be lovers?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPlease.\u201d Hunter rolled his eyes at the generically hot dude in front of him. Everyone at the meeting could see what was coming.<\/p>\n The mayor banged her gavel. \u201cSince it seems that these two gentlemen have the most, er, knowledge in this arena, I make a motion that we send Chris Prattvens and Hunter the Vampire Slayer on a mission to slay the vampire T-Rex together. And also that they be required to sleep in an ice cave with only a single blanket. May God have mercy on their erections.\u201d<\/p>\n A resounding chorus of \u201csecond\u201d went up around the room.<\/p>\n Hunter gave Chris a knowing look. He\u2019d told him so.<\/p>\n The meeting adjourned, leaving the two of them alone in front of the chalkboard where Chris had drawn a picture of a T-Rex with a tiny man in its jaws.<\/p>\n \u201cSo what\u2019s your plan?\u201d Chris asked. Up close, he was even more generically handsome than he had been from a distance. He had a strong jaw and blue eyes behind wire rim glasses, which made Hunter hate him all the more. Since Hunter was strongly attracted to men he hated, his dick perked up, did a few backflips, leaked about a gallon of pre-come, and then settled down again so they could have a conversation.<\/p>\n \u201cWe hunt him. It\u2019s what I do. I happen to have a reputation.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNever heard of you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI have a YouTube channel. Instagram?\u201d he tried when Chris didn\u2019t acknowledge that. \u201cHashtag Hunter the Vampire Slayer?\u201d<\/p>\n Chris shook his head.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019ve never heard of you either.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a paleontologist. We don\u2019t advertise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s fine for you, Mr. Academic. I happen to work on commission. So if we could get this mission accomplished and post a few selfies, I\u2019d appreciate it. Now, I figure we\u2019ll head north since we\u2019ll probably find our target near an ice cave. You heard the mayor.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happens once we find him?\u201d<\/p>\n Hunter pulled a stake from his boot. Chris looked at it doubtfully.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, you don\u2019t think this\u2019ll work?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think we\u2019re going to need a bigger stake.\u201d Chris tapped the drawing to illustrate.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd maybe a less pointy one,\u201d Hunter agreed with a meaningful raise of his eyebrows. \u201cI have some concerns about where these stakes might end up.\u201d<\/p>\n Chris blushed, as Chrises were wont to do. Chrises were always so innocent, just waiting for a guy in eyeliner to bring out the bad boy in them. Luckily, Hunter was up for the task.<\/p>\n What was up with the eyeliner anyway? And all that black leather. And the super-white skin and super-black hair. Did Hunter realize he\u2019d dressed himself up as the very thing he claimed to hate?<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m goth<\/em>,\u201d Hunter said. \u201cIt\u2019s ironic. And what are you, Captain America?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t even know,\u201d he admitted. \u201cWe all blend together.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, you\u2019re adorkable enough.\u201d<\/p>\n He blushed. Again. He knew he was blushing because it\u2019d been written down and because he blushed ten or twenty times a day, whenever anyone said anything nice to him or he had to use a bad word. The author thought he was so na\u00efve, but really he was kinkier than Hunter in that wannabe vampire kit because what Chris wanted\u2014what he really, really<\/em> wanted\u2014was to be fucked by a dinosaur. Specifically, a T-Rex.<\/p>\n That was why he\u2019d become a paleontologist in the first place, because of his T-Rex fetish. And now, finally, it was paying off. So Hunter could play along with the author\u2019s attempt at hooking the two of them up, but Chris had other ideas. When he found the T-Rex, he wouldn\u2019t be killing it. He\u2019d be worshiping at the monster\u2019s cock. It wasn\u2019t a stake Chris wanted up his ass.<\/p>\n But if Hunter could lead him to the only known living dinosaur, Chris would be happy to follow him. He was a paleontologist, after all, not a bloodhound.<\/p>\n They packed their bags, bringing only one blanket per the stated requirements of their mission, and set off north, following a trail of chewed-up, blood-drained corpses. Maybe Chris could\u2019ve found the T-Rex himself. Hunter sloughed along next to him in dramatic silence, his black jeans hanging from the bony points of his hips and his piercings glittering in the sunlight.<\/p>\n \u201cYou won\u2019t turn into dust if you\u2019re exposed to the sun?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShut up. I\u2019m not a vampire.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJust saying you look like one.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s good for blending in, OK? They accept me as one of their own.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReally? You hang with vampires.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSometimes.\u201d Hunter looked a little embarrassed. \u201cI can relate to them, you know? Vampires are so emo. They have feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey do? I thought they were blood-thirsty villains.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a common misconception. They feel remorse for what they\u2019ve done. And then I kill them, and I feel remorse for that. There\u2019s a lot of remorse.\u201d<\/p>\n Remorse wasn\u2019t something Chris could relate to. He was blond and buff, which meant he always did the right thing even if he wasn\u2019t always so smart about it. He did feel shame though about his very intense need to be fucked by a T-Rex. Was it wrong to want dinosaur cock up his ass? It could be considered research, after all. Cocks being soft tissue, they left no fossil remains behind.<\/p>\n Though if Chris were being honest, and he was currently speaking via internal dialogue so there was no reason not to be, it wasn\u2019t so much that he wanted to study dino cock because he was a paleontologist as that he\u2019d become a paleontologist so he could study dino cock. So far his opportunities had been disappointingly limited.<\/p>\n By nightfall, they\u2019d arrived in the area where the T-Rex had last been spotted. They found a sufficiently inhospitable cave in which to settle down and snuggled together to conserve body heat.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d think if we were so cold, we\u2019d keep our clothes on,\u201d Chris observed. \u201cI suppose the author intends for us to get it on now.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t want to,\u201d Hunter huffed. He turned his back with a sulky pout.<\/p>\n \u201cI mean, I could. I\u2019m a gay man and there\u2019s a dick here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWay to make a guy feel special.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, way to make a guy feel pressured. Maybe I\u2019m not up for it right now. It\u2019s cold and the ground is all jagged and we\u2019re on a scary mission.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cStill, I have an erection. Don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, definitely. I always do.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSame.\u201d<\/p>\n If Chris weren\u2019t saving himself for the T-Rex, it might be different, but they would still needed to discuss the elephant (dinosaur? Is that too much?) in the room.<\/p>\n \u201cTwo bottoms don\u2019t make a top.\u201d<\/p>\n Hunter rolled over to look at him with wide eyes. \u201cHow do you know I\u2019m a bottom?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPlease. Eyeliner, piercings, bangs flopping in your eyes. How could you be anything else?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but you,\u201d Hunter said. \u201cYou have muscles, and you wear that superhero cape everywhere, which, dude, that\u2019s a little weird, but clearly you\u2019re a top.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAs it happens, I\u2019m not. Stereotype much?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did you just\u2014?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAaaanyway.\u201d There was no getting around it. They had two holes and no dicks, aside from their own hard erections, so there was clearly no way for them to sexually engage with each other, even though Chris had started to develop a certain fondness for the little goth boy who shared his ice cave. He could tell Hunter had a crush on him, but Hunter\u2019s crush was founded on lies. Chris wasn\u2019t a top. He wasn\u2019t even normal. He was \u2026 a dino-ist.<\/p>\n He began to cry, and Hunter soothed him in that way that would lead to sex if it were a little farther on in the story, but not yet, OK? Moved by how comforting Hunter\u2019s embrace was (except for the spikier of his piercings) Chris spilled the secret he\u2019d been carrying since turning eighteen and not one day before then.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s help,\u201d Hunter told him. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to live this way.\u201d<\/p>\n But what if Chris wanted to?<\/p>\n When Hunter fell into a remarkably deep sleep considering he was on the ground next to a total stranger in the freezing cold, Chris rose and stumbled naked out into the night air in search of the beast he was destined to love.<\/p>\n The beast wafted gracefully over the less-frozen tundra. This form in which he spent the dark hours had a tendency to waft no matter how hard he tried to stomp. It just didn\u2019t have the legs for a good stomp.<\/p>\n As he wafted, he scanned for a soft-sided creature to feed on. He understood now that these creatures were called humans and that the ones with the extra appendage between their legs were called men. He liked the extra appendage, which he\u2019d learned was called a cock, though how such a small thing could share the same name as his own mighty cocks, he didn\u2019t understand. He preferred to think of them as blood straws, and he enjoyed them, bite-sized as they might be.<\/p>\n Sometimes when he fed from one he got a burst of salty-sweet flavor before the human went limp\u2014first in that particular appendage and then, shortly thereafter, all over, at which point the human stopped being fun to play with.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, hey. I was looking for you.\u201d<\/p>\n That was new. Humans didn\u2019t run from him on sight when he was in human form the way they did when he was in T-Rex form, but neither did they seek him out. No one wanted to be his friend. Of course, they were usually doing that limp thing by the time it occurred to him to ask, but still. A dinosaur had feelings.<\/p>\n \u201cMy name\u2019s Chris. Never mind my last name. It\u2019s, um, complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cChris,\u201d he tried. His vampire body came with the ability to speak, but he seldom had an occasion to use it, not having friends and all. But that was OK. You don\u2019t have to feel bad for him or anything. He was used to it by now.<\/p>\n The human had already discarded its inedible outer husk, and its cock stood ready to be fed from. The vampire knelt and grasped the feeding tube in his hands. These arms things were amazing. Sometimes, in between killing people, he liked to pick things up just for the novelty of it. Who designed those useless baby arms on his other body anyway? God? No, God hadn\u2019t gotten involved until after the dinosaurs. Well, He\u2019d done a much better job on humans, if you asked him. Evolution could go fuck itself.<\/p>\n The vampire-beast lowered his mouth over Chris\u2019s cock, and Chris made a very pleasant squeaking sound, sort of like the ones humans made when he ripped off their arms with his T-Rex jaws, but different. He liked this Chris creature. Shame it would be defunct soon. He bared his fangs, ready to sink them into the willing flesh.<\/p>\n \u201cWait,\u201d Chris said, pushing at his head. \u201cYou\u2019re a dinosaur too, aren\u2019t you? I mean, I expected you to be really big. With teeth. Arrr.\u201d Chris made a bellowing screech and snapped his jaw, then pulled his arms tight against his torso and flailed them around wildly.<\/p>\n \u201cHey, that\u2019s not nice.\u201d The beast rose and crossed his plenty-long-enough human arms over his chest.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMaking fun of my arms like that. That\u2019s not nice. I can\u2019t help how they are. I was born that way.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry. I didn\u2019t realize you\u2019d be sensitive about it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, like you wouldn\u2019t be. How about I make fun of how pale your hair is or those weird metal things around your eyes?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy glasses are part of what make me adorkable. It\u2019s kind of a thing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen how about I make fun of the way your body is made out of chewy meat without any protection whatsoever?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh my God, that\u2019s so hot.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHot?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWould you show me your true self?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy true self would probably eat you, to be honest.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHo-ot,\u201d Chris moaned. His meat stick bobbed in an excited fashion and a long string of something that wasn\u2019t blood dripped from it. The beast swooped up a few drops and tasted them. It was that salty-sweet flavor he liked. Perhaps if he showed Chris his dinosaur form he could have more of the salty-sweet flavor before he ate him.<\/p>\n He shifted, growing everywhere except in the arm region, fucking evolution. He gave a mighty roar, throwing back his giant head to allow it to echo across the not-entirely-frozen tundra. Chris would run from him now, as humans did. Rejection. Always the rejection.<\/p>\n But this one stayed. The beast lowered his massive head so that his eyes, set a little inconveniently too far apart from each other to really stare someone down, found the trembling human in front of him. Chris cowered, but he didn\u2019t run, and his nutrition injection device continued to protrude from him in tempting fashion.<\/p>\n Two.<\/p>\n Not one, but two<\/em> cocks adorned the magnificent beast in front of Chris, each bigger than the last\u2014which he\u2019d been hoping for because you\u2019d expect a dinosaur\u2019s dick to be proportional but sometimes there were surprises \u2014meeting together in a nest of balls too numerous to count. Could Chris be any luckier?<\/p>\n The saliva dripping from the T-Rex\u2019s jaw told Chris that he would likely die for the right to suck the monster\u2019s dicks, but at least he\u2019d die happy.<\/p>\n He dashed forward, needing every bit of his six foot three height to reach the promised glory of the dino\u2019s groin. He wrapped his right hand around the right cock and his left hand around the left cock and nuzzled his mouth into the mound of balls beneath them.<\/p>\n The T-Rex\u2019s intimidating roar choked off.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, yes,\u201d Chris murmured to the monster. \u201cYou\u2019re going to like having your cocks sucked. I\u2019m going to suck them so good.\u201d If only he had two months to better service the beast. He just hoped the T-Rex wouldn\u2019t bite him in half before flooding his mouth with dino cum.<\/p>\n It was so much though\u2014so much cock to handle. He\u2019d never had his mouth so full with scrumptious dick flesh or his hands so full of balls. They were big and bulbous and juicy and round and also covered in a sort of reptilian material, much like a leather daddy\u2019s. But the cock was unarmored, a single vulnerable spot on this spiky beast. The way to the T-Rex\u2019s heart must be through his dick.<\/p>\n Would the beast fuck him? Chris could only ask. Not sure how well Tex, as Chris had come to think of him, could understand him in dino form, he pulled the container of lube he\u2019d somehow carried with him despite being completely naked but this is M\/M so we gotta pull the lube outta somewhere don\u2019t @ me, and offered it up like a, um, offering.<\/p>\n Tex tore the lube from his hand with a mighty roar and flung it across the barely-frozen tundra. On second thought, it was possible a dinosaur wouldn\u2019t understand what lube was for. Chris\u2019s ass tingled at the thought of taking the beast dry and raw. He hadn\u2019t brought condoms because he figured T-Rex diseases weren\u2019t transmittable to humans and also because this wasn\u2019t an MPREG story.<\/p>\n Since Tex hadn\u2019t understood his silent plea to be fucked, Chris would have to use words.<\/p>\n \u201cYou wanna have a go at it or what?\u201d<\/p>\n Tex examined him contemplatively, rocking his enormous head to the side to fix him with one of his offset eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cI mean, we don\u2019t gotta fuck. There\u2019s probably, like, other stuff we could do?\u201d Though Chris didn\u2019t know any of that stuff. He\u2019d heard rumors on Tumblr about things called \u201cfrottage\u201d and \u201chand jobs\u201d that didn\u2019t sound half bad. Still, now wasn\u2019t the time. They were in one of the climactic chapters of an M\/M romance.<\/p>\n \u201cPlease,\u201d he moaned. \u201cPlease fuck me. I\u2019ve waited my whole life for this. I studied for six years. I wrote a thesis on Allergic Reactions to Fern Spores In Mesozoic Era Reptiles<\/em>. I had an unpaid internship dusting fossils that were later revealed to be poodle dung. I deserve to get what I came for!\u201d<\/p>\n With that, he launched himself at Tex\u2019s double cocks, not sure which of them to impale himself on but figuring it was half of one, a dozen of the other. Or wait. He never could get that saying right. But either way, he\u2019d struck gold. He used one of the armored plates lining Tex\u2019s abdomen as a pull up bar to climb him like a cliff wall, his legs flailing for purchase on the scaly skin covering Tex\u2019s meaty thighs.<\/p>\n \u201cLove what you\u2019re doing with leg day.\u201d<\/p>\n Tex bellowed out what might have been a thank you as Chris continued to try to get himself into position to sink down onto one of those two perfect cocks.<\/p>\n \u201cLittle help here? Oh. Sorry. Of course yours arms don\u2019t reach. Didn\u2019t mean to, uh \u2026 Maybe it would work better if you laid down? No, not on your stomach. I need your dick. Roll over, and \u2026 oh. I see. That tail really gets in the way, doesn\u2019t it? Um, sitting\u00a0 maybe? Can you sit like this?\u201d He demonstrated a cross-legged position. \u201cSee, then I\u2019ll get up here, like\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cChris?\u201d Hunter\u2019s timid squeak of betrayal came from behind him.<\/p>\n Shit. Hunter had followed him. They\u2019d been found.<\/p>\n Hunter crumpled to the ground, wanting to pluck out his eyes to banish the sight they\u2019d seen: Chris, as naked as Hunter was himself because clothes are just another thing the author has to keep track of, attempting to crawl onto the monster\u2019s erection. Check that. The monster\u2019s double<\/em> erection.<\/p>\n \u201cHow could you?\u201d he cried, ready to rend his heart from his chest. Over the last several hours, Hunter had given everything<\/em> to this man. He\u2019d thought he\u2019d found his soul mate and now \u2026 now it was all ashes. Which the monster would be too once Hunter drove his stake through its heart. He pulled his stake from\u2014never you mind where he pulled it from; he had it with him, that\u2019s all you need to know\u2014and charged at the beast, but Chris tackled him to the ground before he could reach it.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t,\u201d Chris begged. \u201cI love him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you loved me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOn what grounds could you possibly be basing that?\u201d<\/p>\n Their love had burned so hot, but so brief. Like a single match sparking to a bright burst of light and then going out because matches are ephemeral that way. But even if Chris had never loved him the way he\u2019d loved Chris, they had a mission to save the townspeople from the rampaging monster. The very monster Chris now embraced. \u201cWe\u2019re teammates.\u201d<\/p>\n Chris hung his head. \u201cI misled you. I\u2019m sorry. My mission was always to fuck him, never to fight him. I\u2019m a lover, Hunter.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI thought you were Captain America.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCaptain America is a lover, Hunter.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not sure we\u2019re working from the same Marvel universe here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI loved him before I knew him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I\u2019m sworn to kill him. When I was sixteen, a vampire killed my family and I vowed to avenge them.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd when I was sixteen, I vowed to fuck a tyrannosaurus rex.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat leaves us at an impasse.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat if you fuck him first and then I kill him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019d be OK with that? Wow, Hunter, that\u2019s really sporting of you. I\u2019m sorry I ran off like that. I should\u2019ve communicated my needs like a mature adult.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I shouldn\u2019t have kink shamed you. That was wrong of me. You need what you need, and that\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know why I\u2019m like this.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s OK though.\u201d<\/p>\n Their reconciliation was interrupted by a loud roar from the beast in question. Hunter leaped to his feet and thrust Chris behind him, determined to sacrifice his own body if needed.<\/p>\n \u201cHe won\u2019t hurt you. Will you, Tex?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHis name is Tex?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, Hunter. You think dinosaurs have names? This may be a story about a shapeshifting dinosaur vampire, but the author is still trying to keep it real. Tex is just what I call him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou couldn\u2019t have come up with something more creative?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m a scientist. I don’t get paid to be creative except on grant proposals. What would you<\/em> have named him?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was thinking Dean.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAs in Dean the dino? Like that\u2019s better?\u201d<\/p>\n Another roar burst from the impatient monster looming over them, neither one of whose dicks had deflated in the least, but then neither had his or Chris\u2019s because they were in an M\/M romance and might be required to perform at any moment.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s he saying?\u201d he asked Chris.<\/p>\n \u201cYou think I speak T-Rex? It\u2019s a dead language.\u201d<\/p>\n In front of them, the dinosaur rippled. A moment later, a tall pale man in a dark suit stood where Tex had been.<\/p>\n \u201cEveryone hates me.\u201d The vampire sat on the rather-spongy tundra with a forlorn sigh. \u00a0\u201cI mean, like this\u2014sure.\u201d He flapped his cape dispiritedly. \u201cThen I\u2019m all glamour and sparkles. But as soon as I\u2019m in my true form, it\u2019s nothing but screams and running away and bleeding from chewed off appendages. How\u2019s a dinosaur supposed to make friends when he can never really be himself?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt might have something to do with the chewed off appendages\u2014\u201d Chris started, but Hunter waved him quiet.<\/p>\n \u201cTell me about it.\u201d He sat down next to Tex. \u201cPeople see the eyeliner and start making assumptions.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI happen to think the eyeliner is beautiful. It really brings out the darkness in your soul.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you.\u201d Hunter glared over at Chris in his perfect blond glory. \u201cSome people don\u2019t get it. They don\u2019t know what it\u2019s like to be always the villain, never the hero.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou were going to kill me,\u201d Tex accused.<\/p>\n \u201cAh, no, sorry. Forget about it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, you should. I\u2019m a total monster.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou probably don\u2019t want to be though.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI mean, sort of? I get hungry. This vampire thing\u2014I didn\u2019t ask for that\u2014but I gotta admit my inner dinosaur is a stone-cold killer.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe tyrannosaurus rex is a carnivore,\u201d Chris said. \u201cYou can\u2019t help that about yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd then vampires feed on blood,\u201d Tex said with a shrug. \u201cIt\u2019s bad all around. I never cared, though, until you came along and showed me how beautiful love could be. Now I only wish there were a way … but there\u2019s not.\u201d Tex picked up the stake Hunter had dropped and held it out to him. \u201cFinish me.\u201d He lay back and crossed his arms over his chest.<\/p>\n \u201cI kind of need to get in there though,\u201d Hunter said.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAt your heart, see? You\u2019ve got your arms across your chest and \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh, sorry.\u201d Tex uncrossed his arms and laid them by his sides. \u201cIs this better?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t.\u201d Chris pulled the stake out of Hunter\u2019s hand. \u201cYou can\u2019t kill him. I love him. I love both of you. Don\u2019t make me choose between you. He\u2019s not evil, Hunter, and neither are you. You both just need to be loved.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt can never work,\u201d Tex said fatalistically.<\/p>\n \u201cUnless \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUnless?\u201d Chris asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYou remember where we figured that was going to end up?\u201d Hunter indicated the stake. \u201cWhat we need isn\u2019t a murder. It\u2019s an exorcism. Let\u2019s get him naked and then \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd then?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd then I\u2019m going to fuck the vampire right out of him.\u201d<\/p>\n Tex tested his bonds. He\u2019d been stripped and lubed and tied face-up and spread-eagled across the rapidly defrosting tundra which featured convenient tie-in points in case somebody needed to do an exorcism. He felt both helpless and powerful, at peace with whatever might happen in this kinky ritual Hunter had conceived.<\/p>\n Tex had never known a creature as sensitive and fragile as the beautiful Hunter or as stalwart and heroic as the generic Chris. They were the only fitting mates for his twisted, appendage-chewing, blood-seeking soul. Even if this exorcism killed him, he\u2019d die happier than he\u2019d ever been in his lonely carnivorous existence.<\/p>\n Now that he thought back, he\u2019d never been able to connect with anyone even during his dinosaur days, had he? He\u2019d been hatched, he supposed, but he couldn\u2019t remember his mother, never mind the fertilizer who\u2019d sired him. T-Rexes gave each other a wide berth, every dinosaur for himself, each predator staking off his own little section of the not-frozen-yet tundra and ravaging whatever came into it.<\/p>\n Ravage, ravage. It was all he\u2019d ever known. And now, as Hunter lubed up the stake after lovingly sanding out the splinters, Tex knew that his cold, dark heart would never be the same. It\u2019d grown three sizes that day, much like what happened to his cock when he shifted into dinosaur form.<\/p>\n \u201cYou sure about this?\u201d Chris asked.<\/p>\n \u201cAs sure as I\u2019ve ever been,\u201d Hunter said, \u201cwhich isn\u2019t much. I\u2019m kind of a fuck-up to be honest.\u201d<\/p>\n Tex strained at his bonds to take Hunter\u2019s hand. \u201cWe all are. Go for it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThis might hurt,\u201d Hunter said. \u201cBut it\u2019s only a quick burn. Once you adjust, you\u2019ll be begging for it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUnderstood.\u201d<\/p>\n Hunter inserted the tip of the stake into his ass. It burned, as promised, but shortly Tex was overcome by a need to have more, deeper, harder. \u201cI\u2019m ready,\u201d he said with a breathy exhale. \u201cDon\u2019t tease me, damn you.\u201d<\/p>\n Hunter buried the stake in his ass with a single, ferocious thrust.<\/p>\n \u201cIt burns!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cReally? This part\u2019s usually pretty good,\u201d Chris said. \u201cI always like it when\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBurns!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s the vampire leaving him,\u201d Hunter said. \u201cHe\u2019s being turned to ash from the inside out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTake the stake out!\u201d Chris pleaded. \u201cOK, now, push it back in. Now take it out. Now\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know how fucking works.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHa, like you\u2019ve ever topped.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve topped. There\u2019s that chapter at the end where the bottom always tops.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re not at the end yet, Hunter.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou think this is my first rodeo, Chris?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGuys? Could we concentrate on \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh yeah, right. How\u2019s that feel now?\u201d Hunter slid the stake slowly in and out, then faster and faster until Tex\u2019s screams morphed from pain to pleasure and come exploded from his shaft to coat his belly.<\/p>\n Hm. He could do much better than that as a T-Rex. Really, kind of a pitiful little puddle there, but Chris lapped it up like it was ice cream.<\/p>\n \u201cMy first taste of T-Rex come,\u201d he said. \u201cKind of wish you still had that T-Rex body thing going on though. And that second cock.\u201d<\/p>\n Tex shifted with a roar, the stake splintering into toothpicks between the globes of his muscular ass, his bonds ripping free from the convenient but inadequately justified tie-down points. He would show Chris that he was still the ferocious T-Rex he\u2019d fallen in love with.<\/p>\n \u201cTex!\u201d Chris exclaimed. \u201cYou\u2019re still with us. And you\u2019ve still got two cocks.\u201d Chris fell to worshiping one, gesturing Hunter forward to lick the other. \u201cIt\u2019s really a two-man job.\u201d<\/p>\n Tex roared his agreement as twin tongues went to town on him, dueling heads bobbing up and down over his massive matching erections.\u00a0 Fresh pleasure speared through him, but he didn\u2019t want to come like this. They were in the final chapter of an M\/M romance and they still hadn\u2019t fucked.<\/p>\n He leaned down and used his tiny hands to tap on his lovers\u2019 heads and they obeyed his summons, scurrying up his body to impale themselves, one on each of his cocks. Assume there was lube.<\/p>\n \u201cFinally,\u201d Chris groaned as he sank down onto the left shaft.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s everything you said it would be,\u201d Hunter agreed as his hole tightened around Tex\u2019s right shaft.<\/p>\n Up and down they went like horses on a merry-go-round until Tex pumped them full of his dinosaur-sized loads and they shot all over the scales of his spiny stomach. He snuggled them into his limited embrace.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know,\u201d Hunter said, \u201cthe author had it wrong. This was never an M\/M romance.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen what is it?\u201d Chris asked.<\/p>\n \u201cM\/M\/M.\u201d<\/p>\n And they lived happily ever after.<\/p>\n The END<\/p>\n Make sure you never miss a new free story by signing up for my newsletter<\/a>.<\/p>\n If you enjoyed this story, you might also enjoy<\/em><\/strong> This is what happens when a goth vampire hunter named Hunter and a all-American paleontologist with a dinosaur fetish named Chris… something go in search of a shapeshifting vampire T-Rex who just needs a little love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":248,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,2,75],"tags":[33,32],"class_list":["post-186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-mmm","category-standalone","tag-dinosaur","tag-vampire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=186"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1224,"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186\/revisions\/1224"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/248"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=186"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=186"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=186"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Chapter 2: Into the Breach<\/h2>\n
Chapter 3: Close Encounters of the Kinky Kind<\/h2>\n
Chapter 4: A Tale of Two Dicks<\/h2>\n
Chapter 5: Way Too Much Dialogue for Erotica<\/h2>\n
Chapter 6: About Fucking Time<\/h2>\n
\n
\n![\"Cover](\"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Among-Heroes-small.jpg\")
<\/a> \u00a0\u00a0 ![\"Cover](\"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/Impossibly-Fond-small-194x300.jpg\")
<\/a> \u00a0 \u00a0![\"Cover](\"https:\/\/tanyachris.com\/freestories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/tanyachrs_Omega_Reclaimed-small.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"