In Praise of Male Subs

Like many of you, I came to M/M as a refugee from the sexism inherent in M/F. No longer able to see myself in the heroines featured in heterosexual romance, I escaped to a genre where there weren’t women. But along the way, I took a detour into femdom – BDSM where the woman is the Dominant (or Domme). I loved the idea of a submissive man. Not a grovelling worm dressed up in sissy clothes, but a strong, confident man who submits willingly, from a place a strength, to someone who deserves his submission.

If you’ve read my M/M BDSM, you know those are the submissives I write about. I don’t write about brats or babies (not that there’s anything wrong with those forms of submission). I write about men who are stronger for what they give, who enjoy what they take, and who aren’t ashamed of what they need.

To me, there’s nothing hotter, nothing more romantic, than a man giving up his will and his body to the person he loves. I like to think I write a pretty good Dom character, but it’s the submissives I fall in love with. The men in my femdom stories – Derek in particular – aren’t any different just because their tops are women.

But what about those women?

The reason femdom was only a waypoint for me, not my final destination, is that the women in most femdom, despite supposedly being the ones on top, still tend to exist for the primary purpose of pleasing their men. Mind you, we should all be thinking of how we can please our partners, right? But I wanted to see a Domme who was as firm, as in control, as certain of what she wanted, and as able to get it, as any Dom.

That’s why I wrote Mine. This is my femdom, and it’s not about what some man wants, not even the sub. He wants what his Domme wants, and he has the strength, the fortitude, and the courage to give it to her.

 

 

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