Interview With a T-Rex

Prologue: A Vampire Is Born

The T-Rex rumbled across the frozen tundra, a mindless beast in search of food but finding only snow and ice and the exposed bones of other predators’ kills. Ahead of him a shadow flittered and he picked up his pace, moving in relentless pursuit as his prey scrambled before him. He leaned down with strong jaws to snap at the needed morsel, his tiny brain registering too late the movement beneath him.

He found himself wedged into a crevasse between walls of hard, unclimbable ice. His tiny arms—fuck those things—couldn’t reach the wall in front of him, and his mighty legs gained no purchase. Tired and hungry, he slept.

~~~~~

Eons passed, and the glaciers retreated. Temperatures rose, ice melted. Slowly the chasm in which the beast rested in homeostasis was revealed to a weak sun, and he awoke. There was a creature in front of him, a creature like nothing he’d seen before. It stood on two legs, as he did, but reached no higher than his knee, smooth and pale and unprotected in its softness.

The T-Rex snapped at it, but the creature was fast and strong and somehow it attached itself to his neck and began to suck there. He shook his head, attempting to dislodge it, but the creature clung with the strength of a hundred T-Rexes, draining the force that ran through him.

Could he be so quickly returned to unconsciousness after so brief a resurrection? This creature would suck all his life from him, but how could it? It was too small to contain him. Its sucking slowed, its breaths became labored. It dropped from his neck and wiped the beast’s blood from its chin.

The creature made noises at him, noises unlike any he’d heard before with multiple notes and volumes, not a single, angry roar or a pitiful, pained squeak. The T-Rex felt there was something to understand about the sounds, but he didn’t care. He was hungry. He snapped it in half with a single bite.

Mm. Good. Chewy and sweet. He spit the creature’s skull out after sucking down its brains. Brains were delicious but not always worth the trouble of fishing them out. But this creature? So many brains. He must find more creatures like it. A few more meals like this would restore him to full strength. But for now, a nap.

~~~~~

When the T-Rex awoke again, it was night and he was changed. He had a body like the creature he’d eaten and a need for blood. He’d become the creature. He didn’t want to be the creature. He liked being a T-Rex. A T-Rex was a magnificent beast before whom all other creatures fled. He didn’t want to be soft with a need for blood.

He tried to roar, and a tepid noise came out, like the one the creature had made. He tried again, forcing his strength into the sound and his voice came out louder, angrier, but still so melodic and weak. What was this body he found himself in, and why did it hunger for blood?

As he wandered across the nearly-frozen tundra, he came across a pair of creatures similar to the one that had tried to kill him but lacking its strength or speed. They ran when he chased them, struggled when he drank from them, and made high-pitched screeching sounds before he killed them, but they couldn’t stop him. He might be a pitiful soft-sided creature now, but he was still fearsome.

He lumbered on in search of more food, thinking what a shame it was that this prologue contained no sexy bits, but consoling himself with the fact that no one ever reads the prologue anyway.

 

Chapter 1: We’re Going to Need a Bigger Stake

“There’s no such thing as T-Rexes,” a skinny man with a skinnier tie said, pawing awkwardly at the microphone the moderator held for him. The assembled townspeople had heard from the commission charged with investigating the rash of brutal deaths with which their community had recently been terrorized, and now they were hearing from the floor. But the floor was a bunch of fucking idiots.

“There certainly were such a thing as T-Rexes,” the blond guy on the panel responded.

Hunter recalled that the man’s name was Chris something. Hemsworth? Pine? Evans? Oh well, did it even matter? He was blond and handsome and had a mouth full of white teeth and was everything Hunter hated in the world. Also, he was a paleontologist.

“We’d assumed T-Rexes were extinct, of course,” Chris Pinesworth said. “But based on the bite pattern we’ve found in the remains of the victims, we know that whatever’s terrorizing our community is a carnivore and that it has a jaw larger than any beast currently catalogued. In short, it’s a T-Rex. What doesn’t exist is vampires. So if you all could—”

Hunter grabbed the mic from the moderator, sending up a feedback screech that brought the room to a respectful silence.

“There certainly is such a thing as vampires,” he said. “Those victims have been drained of blood.”

“Some of them,” Chris Hempratt agreed. “Some of them were bitten in half. And I have to point out that being bitten in half will naturally tend to deprive one of blood.”

“Some of them were drained of blood without being bitten in half.”

“So what are you saying?” the skinny man asked. “We’ve got a T-Rex and a vampire? That seems liked a pretty big coincidence that not one, but two, mythical creatures are terrorizing our town.”

Hunter flipped his long black bangs out of his eyes and fixed Chris with a heavy-lidded glare. “Not two creatures. One. What we’ve got is a blood-sucking T-Rex, a shapeshifting vampire dinosaur.”

The crowd gasped.

“That’s a bold theory, Mr. …”

“It’s Hunter. And I know my vampires. I’ve dedicated my life to hunting them.”

“Wait, so, you’re a vampire hunter named Hunter?”

“And you’re a blond hero named Chris. No one’s getting points for originality here. Look, it’s a requirement, OK?” People always teased him about his name and it so happened that he was very sensitive. As all goths were.

“It’s a requirement that vampire hunters be named Hunter?”

“No, that at least one character in every M/M romance be named Hunter.”

“Oh, so you’re …?”

“Yes. Gay.” He met Chris Henpine’s eyes with unabashed challenge. “And you and I can do this one of two ways. Friends to lovers or enemies to lovers. It’s up to you.”

“Who says we have to be lovers?”

“Please.” Hunter rolled his eyes at the generically hot dude in front of him. Everyone at the meeting could see what was coming.

The mayor banged her gavel. “Since it seems that these two gentlemen have the most, er, knowledge in this arena, I make a motion that we send Chris Prattvens and Hunter the Vampire Slayer on a mission to slay the vampire T-Rex together. And also that they be required to sleep in an ice cave with only a single blanket. May God have mercy on their erections.”

A resounding chorus of “second” went up around the room.

Hunter gave Chris a knowing look. He’d told him so.

The meeting adjourned, leaving the two of them alone in front of the chalkboard where Chris had drawn a picture of a T-Rex with a tiny man in its jaws.

“So what’s your plan?” Chris asked. Up close, he was even more generically handsome than he had been from a distance. He had a strong jaw and blue eyes behind wire rim glasses, which made Hunter hate him all the more. Since Hunter was strongly attracted to men he hated, his dick perked up, did a few backflips, leaked about a gallon of pre-come, and then settled down again so they could have a conversation.

“We hunt him. It’s what I do. I happen to have a reputation.”

“Never heard of you.”

“I have a YouTube channel. Instagram?” he tried when Chris didn’t acknowledge that. “Hashtag Hunter the Vampire Slayer?”

Chris shook his head.

“Well, I’ve never heard of you either.”

“I’m a paleontologist. We don’t advertise.”

“That’s fine for you, Mr. Academic. I happen to work on commission. So if we could get this mission accomplished and post a few selfies, I’d appreciate it. Now, I figure we’ll head north since we’ll probably find our target near an ice cave. You heard the mayor.”

“What happens once we find him?”

Hunter pulled a stake from his boot. Chris looked at it doubtfully.

“Oh, you don’t think this’ll work?”

“I think we’re going to need a bigger stake.” Chris tapped the drawing to illustrate.

“And maybe a less pointy one,” Hunter agreed with a meaningful raise of his eyebrows. “I have some concerns about where these stakes might end up.”

Chris blushed, as Chrises were wont to do. Chrises were always so innocent, just waiting for a guy in eyeliner to bring out the bad boy in them. Luckily, Hunter was up for the task.

 

Chapter 2: Into the Breach

What was up with the eyeliner anyway? And all that black leather. And the super-white skin and super-black hair. Did Hunter realize he’d dressed himself up as the very thing he claimed to hate?

“I’m goth,” Hunter said. “It’s ironic. And what are you, Captain America?”

“I don’t even know,” he admitted. “We all blend together.”

“Well, you’re adorkable enough.”

He blushed. Again. He knew he was blushing because it’d been written down and because he blushed ten or twenty times a day, whenever anyone said anything nice to him or he had to use a bad word. The author thought he was so naïve, but really he was kinkier than Hunter in that wannabe vampire kit because what Chris wanted—what he really, really wanted—was to be fucked by a dinosaur. Specifically, a T-Rex.

That was why he’d become a paleontologist in the first place, because of his T-Rex fetish. And now, finally, it was paying off. So Hunter could play along with the author’s attempt at hooking the two of them up, but Chris had other ideas. When he found the T-Rex, he wouldn’t be killing it. He’d be worshiping at the monster’s cock. It wasn’t a stake Chris wanted up his ass.

But if Hunter could lead him to the only known living dinosaur, Chris would be happy to follow him. He was a paleontologist, after all, not a bloodhound.

They packed their bags, bringing only one blanket per the stated requirements of their mission, and set off north, following a trail of chewed-up, blood-drained corpses. Maybe Chris could’ve found the T-Rex himself. Hunter sloughed along next to him in dramatic silence, his black jeans hanging from the bony points of his hips and his piercings glittering in the sunlight.

“You won’t turn into dust if you’re exposed to the sun?”

“Shut up. I’m not a vampire.”

“Just saying you look like one.”

“It’s good for blending in, OK? They accept me as one of their own.”

“Really? You hang with vampires.”

“Sometimes.” Hunter looked a little embarrassed. “I can relate to them, you know? Vampires are so emo. They have feelings.”

“They do? I thought they were blood-thirsty villains.”

“That’s a common misconception. They feel remorse for what they’ve done. And then I kill them, and I feel remorse for that. There’s a lot of remorse.”

Remorse wasn’t something Chris could relate to. He was blond and buff, which meant he always did the right thing even if he wasn’t always so smart about it. He did feel shame though about his very intense need to be fucked by a T-Rex. Was it wrong to want dinosaur cock up his ass? It could be considered research, after all. Cocks being soft tissue, they left no fossil remains behind.

Though if Chris were being honest, and he was currently speaking via internal dialogue so there was no reason not to be, it wasn’t so much that he wanted to study dino cock because he was a paleontologist as that he’d become a paleontologist so he could study dino cock. So far his opportunities had been disappointingly limited.

By nightfall, they’d arrived in the area where the T-Rex had last been spotted. They found a sufficiently inhospitable cave in which to settle down and snuggled together to conserve body heat.

“You’d think if we were so cold, we’d keep our clothes on,” Chris observed. “I suppose the author intends for us to get it on now.”

“You don’t want to,” Hunter huffed. He turned his back with a sulky pout.

“I mean, I could. I’m a gay man and there’s a dick here.”

“Way to make a guy feel special.”

“Well, way to make a guy feel pressured. Maybe I’m not up for it right now. It’s cold and the ground is all jagged and we’re on a scary mission.”

“Still, I have an erection. Don’t you?”

“Oh, definitely. I always do.”

“Same.”

If Chris weren’t saving himself for the T-Rex, it might be different, but they would still needed to discuss the elephant (dinosaur? Is that too much?) in the room.

“Two bottoms don’t make a top.”

Hunter rolled over to look at him with wide eyes. “How do you know I’m a bottom?”

“Please. Eyeliner, piercings, bangs flopping in your eyes. How could you be anything else?”

“Yeah, but you,” Hunter said. “You have muscles, and you wear that superhero cape everywhere, which, dude, that’s a little weird, but clearly you’re a top.”

“As it happens, I’m not. Stereotype much?”

“What did you just—?”

“Aaaanyway.” There was no getting around it. They had two holes and no dicks, aside from their own hard erections, so there was clearly no way for them to sexually engage with each other, even though Chris had started to develop a certain fondness for the little goth boy who shared his ice cave. He could tell Hunter had a crush on him, but Hunter’s crush was founded on lies. Chris wasn’t a top. He wasn’t even normal. He was … a dino-ist.

He began to cry, and Hunter soothed him in that way that would lead to sex if it were a little farther on in the story, but not yet, OK? Moved by how comforting Hunter’s embrace was (except for the spikier of his piercings) Chris spilled the secret he’d been carrying since turning eighteen and not one day before then.

“There’s help,” Hunter told him. “You don’t have to live this way.”

But what if Chris wanted to?

When Hunter fell into a remarkably deep sleep considering he was on the ground next to a total stranger in the freezing cold, Chris rose and stumbled naked out into the night air in search of the beast he was destined to love.

 

Chapter 3: Close Encounters of the Kinky Kind

The beast wafted gracefully over the less-frozen tundra. This form in which he spent the dark hours had a tendency to waft no matter how hard he tried to stomp. It just didn’t have the legs for a good stomp.

As he wafted, he scanned for a soft-sided creature to feed on. He understood now that these creatures were called humans and that the ones with the extra appendage between their legs were called men. He liked the extra appendage, which he’d learned was called a cock, though how such a small thing could share the same name as his own mighty cocks, he didn’t understand. He preferred to think of them as blood straws, and he enjoyed them, bite-sized as they might be.

Sometimes when he fed from one he got a burst of salty-sweet flavor before the human went limp—first in that particular appendage and then, shortly thereafter, all over, at which point the human stopped being fun to play with.

“Oh, hey. I was looking for you.”

That was new. Humans didn’t run from him on sight when he was in human form the way they did when he was in T-Rex form, but neither did they seek him out. No one wanted to be his friend. Of course, they were usually doing that limp thing by the time it occurred to him to ask, but still. A dinosaur had feelings.

“My name’s Chris. Never mind my last name. It’s, um, complicated.”

“Chris,” he tried. His vampire body came with the ability to speak, but he seldom had an occasion to use it, not having friends and all. But that was OK. You don’t have to feel bad for him or anything. He was used to it by now.

The human had already discarded its inedible outer husk, and its cock stood ready to be fed from. The vampire knelt and grasped the feeding tube in his hands. These arms things were amazing. Sometimes, in between killing people, he liked to pick things up just for the novelty of it. Who designed those useless baby arms on his other body anyway? God? No, God hadn’t gotten involved until after the dinosaurs. Well, He’d done a much better job on humans, if you asked him. Evolution could go fuck itself.

The vampire-beast lowered his mouth over Chris’s cock, and Chris made a very pleasant squeaking sound, sort of like the ones humans made when he ripped off their arms with his T-Rex jaws, but different. He liked this Chris creature. Shame it would be defunct soon. He bared his fangs, ready to sink them into the willing flesh.

“Wait,” Chris said, pushing at his head. “You’re a dinosaur too, aren’t you? I mean, I expected you to be really big. With teeth. Arrr.” Chris made a bellowing screech and snapped his jaw, then pulled his arms tight against his torso and flailed them around wildly.

“Hey, that’s not nice.” The beast rose and crossed his plenty-long-enough human arms over his chest.

“What?”

“Making fun of my arms like that. That’s not nice. I can’t help how they are. I was born that way.”

“Sorry. I didn’t realize you’d be sensitive about it.”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t be. How about I make fun of how pale your hair is or those weird metal things around your eyes?”

“My glasses are part of what make me adorkable. It’s kind of a thing.”

“Then how about I make fun of the way your body is made out of chewy meat without any protection whatsoever?”

“Oh my God, that’s so hot.”

“Hot?”

“Would you show me your true self?”

“My true self would probably eat you, to be honest.”

“Ho-ot,” Chris moaned. His meat stick bobbed in an excited fashion and a long string of something that wasn’t blood dripped from it. The beast swooped up a few drops and tasted them. It was that salty-sweet flavor he liked. Perhaps if he showed Chris his dinosaur form he could have more of the salty-sweet flavor before he ate him.

He shifted, growing everywhere except in the arm region, fucking evolution. He gave a mighty roar, throwing back his giant head to allow it to echo across the not-entirely-frozen tundra. Chris would run from him now, as humans did. Rejection. Always the rejection.

But this one stayed. The beast lowered his massive head so that his eyes, set a little inconveniently too far apart from each other to really stare someone down, found the trembling human in front of him. Chris cowered, but he didn’t run, and his nutrition injection device continued to protrude from him in tempting fashion.

 

Chapter 4: A Tale of Two Dicks

Two.

Not one, but two cocks adorned the magnificent beast in front of Chris, each bigger than the last—which he’d been hoping for because you’d expect a dinosaur’s dick to be proportional but sometimes there were surprises —meeting together in a nest of balls too numerous to count. Could Chris be any luckier?

The saliva dripping from the T-Rex’s jaw told Chris that he would likely die for the right to suck the monster’s dicks, but at least he’d die happy.

He dashed forward, needing every bit of his six foot three height to reach the promised glory of the dino’s groin. He wrapped his right hand around the right cock and his left hand around the left cock and nuzzled his mouth into the mound of balls beneath them.

The T-Rex’s intimidating roar choked off.

“Yes, yes,” Chris murmured to the monster. “You’re going to like having your cocks sucked. I’m going to suck them so good.” If only he had two months to better service the beast. He just hoped the T-Rex wouldn’t bite him in half before flooding his mouth with dino cum.

It was so much though—so much cock to handle. He’d never had his mouth so full with scrumptious dick flesh or his hands so full of balls. They were big and bulbous and juicy and round and also covered in a sort of reptilian material, much like a leather daddy’s. But the cock was unarmored, a single vulnerable spot on this spiky beast. The way to the T-Rex’s heart must be through his dick.

Would the beast fuck him? Chris could only ask. Not sure how well Tex, as Chris had come to think of him, could understand him in dino form, he pulled the container of lube he’d somehow carried with him despite being completely naked but this is M/M so we gotta pull the lube outta somewhere don’t @ me, and offered it up like a, um, offering.

Tex tore the lube from his hand with a mighty roar and flung it across the barely-frozen tundra. On second thought, it was possible a dinosaur wouldn’t understand what lube was for. Chris’s ass tingled at the thought of taking the beast dry and raw. He hadn’t brought condoms because he figured T-Rex diseases weren’t transmittable to humans and also because this wasn’t an MPREG story.

Since Tex hadn’t understood his silent plea to be fucked, Chris would have to use words.

“You wanna have a go at it or what?”

Tex examined him contemplatively, rocking his enormous head to the side to fix him with one of his offset eyes.

“I mean, we don’t gotta fuck. There’s probably, like, other stuff we could do?” Though Chris didn’t know any of that stuff. He’d heard rumors on Tumblr about things called “frottage” and “hand jobs” that didn’t sound half bad. Still, now wasn’t the time. They were in one of the climactic chapters of an M/M romance.

“Please,” he moaned. “Please fuck me. I’ve waited my whole life for this. I studied for six years. I wrote a thesis on Allergic Reactions to Fern Spores In Mesozoic Era Reptiles. I had an unpaid internship dusting fossils that were later revealed to be poodle dung. I deserve to get what I came for!”

With that, he launched himself at Tex’s double cocks, not sure which of them to impale himself on but figuring it was half of one, a dozen of the other. Or wait. He never could get that saying right. But either way, he’d struck gold. He used one of the armored plates lining Tex’s abdomen as a pull up bar to climb him like a cliff wall, his legs flailing for purchase on the scaly skin covering Tex’s meaty thighs.

“Love what you’re doing with leg day.”

Tex bellowed out what might have been a thank you as Chris continued to try to get himself into position to sink down onto one of those two perfect cocks.

“Little help here? Oh. Sorry. Of course yours arms don’t reach. Didn’t mean to, uh … Maybe it would work better if you laid down? No, not on your stomach. I need your dick. Roll over, and … oh. I see. That tail really gets in the way, doesn’t it? Um, sitting  maybe? Can you sit like this?” He demonstrated a cross-legged position. “See, then I’ll get up here, like—”

“Chris?” Hunter’s timid squeak of betrayal came from behind him.

Shit. Hunter had followed him. They’d been found.

 

Chapter 5: Way Too Much Dialogue for Erotica

Hunter crumpled to the ground, wanting to pluck out his eyes to banish the sight they’d seen: Chris, as naked as Hunter was himself because clothes are just another thing the author has to keep track of, attempting to crawl onto the monster’s erection. Check that. The monster’s double erection.

“How could you?” he cried, ready to rend his heart from his chest. Over the last several hours, Hunter had given everything to this man. He’d thought he’d found his soul mate and now … now it was all ashes. Which the monster would be too once Hunter drove his stake through its heart. He pulled his stake from—never you mind where he pulled it from; he had it with him, that’s all you need to know—and charged at the beast, but Chris tackled him to the ground before he could reach it.

“You can’t,” Chris begged. “I love him.”

“I thought you loved me.”

“On what grounds could you possibly be basing that?”

Their love had burned so hot, but so brief. Like a single match sparking to a bright burst of light and then going out because matches are ephemeral that way. But even if Chris had never loved him the way he’d loved Chris, they had a mission to save the townspeople from the rampaging monster. The very monster Chris now embraced. “We’re teammates.”

Chris hung his head. “I misled you. I’m sorry. My mission was always to fuck him, never to fight him. I’m a lover, Hunter.”

“I thought you were Captain America.”

“Captain America is a lover, Hunter.”

“I’m not sure we’re working from the same Marvel universe here.”

“I loved him before I knew him.”

“And I’m sworn to kill him. When I was sixteen, a vampire killed my family and I vowed to avenge them.”

“And when I was sixteen, I vowed to fuck a tyrannosaurus rex.”

“That leaves us at an impasse.”

“Yes.”

“What if you fuck him first and then I kill him?”

“You’d be OK with that? Wow, Hunter, that’s really sporting of you. I’m sorry I ran off like that. I should’ve communicated my needs like a mature adult.”

“And I shouldn’t have kink shamed you. That was wrong of me. You need what you need, and that’s fine.”

“I don’t know why I’m like this.”

“It’s OK though.”

Their reconciliation was interrupted by a loud roar from the beast in question. Hunter leaped to his feet and thrust Chris behind him, determined to sacrifice his own body if needed.

“He won’t hurt you. Will you, Tex?”

“His name is Tex?”

“Come on, Hunter. You think dinosaurs have names? This may be a story about a shapeshifting dinosaur vampire, but the author is still trying to keep it real. Tex is just what I call him.”

“You couldn’t have come up with something more creative?”

“I’m a scientist. I don’t get paid to be creative except on grant proposals. What would you have named him?”

“I was thinking Dean.”

“As in Dean the dino? Like that’s better?”

Another roar burst from the impatient monster looming over them, neither one of whose dicks had deflated in the least, but then neither had his or Chris’s because they were in an M/M romance and might be required to perform at any moment.

“What’s he saying?” he asked Chris.

“You think I speak T-Rex? It’s a dead language.”

In front of them, the dinosaur rippled. A moment later, a tall pale man in a dark suit stood where Tex had been.

“Everyone hates me.” The vampire sat on the rather-spongy tundra with a forlorn sigh.  “I mean, like this—sure.” He flapped his cape dispiritedly. “Then I’m all glamour and sparkles. But as soon as I’m in my true form, it’s nothing but screams and running away and bleeding from chewed off appendages. How’s a dinosaur supposed to make friends when he can never really be himself?”

“It might have something to do with the chewed off appendages—” Chris started, but Hunter waved him quiet.

“Tell me about it.” He sat down next to Tex. “People see the eyeliner and start making assumptions.”

“I happen to think the eyeliner is beautiful. It really brings out the darkness in your soul.”

“Thank you.” Hunter glared over at Chris in his perfect blond glory. “Some people don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to be always the villain, never the hero.”

“You were going to kill me,” Tex accused.

“Ah, no, sorry. Forget about it.”

“No, you should. I’m a total monster.”

“You probably don’t want to be though.”

“I mean, sort of? I get hungry. This vampire thing—I didn’t ask for that—but I gotta admit my inner dinosaur is a stone-cold killer.”

“The tyrannosaurus rex is a carnivore,” Chris said. “You can’t help that about yourself.”

“And then vampires feed on blood,” Tex said with a shrug. “It’s bad all around. I never cared, though, until you came along and showed me how beautiful love could be. Now I only wish there were a way … but there’s not.” Tex picked up the stake Hunter had dropped and held it out to him. “Finish me.” He lay back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I kind of need to get in there though,” Hunter said.

“What?”

“At your heart, see? You’ve got your arms across your chest and …”

“Oh, sorry.” Tex uncrossed his arms and laid them by his sides. “Is this better?”

“You can’t.” Chris pulled the stake out of Hunter’s hand. “You can’t kill him. I love him. I love both of you. Don’t make me choose between you. He’s not evil, Hunter, and neither are you. You both just need to be loved.”

“It can never work,” Tex said fatalistically.

“Unless …”

“Unless?” Chris asked.

“You remember where we figured that was going to end up?” Hunter indicated the stake. “What we need isn’t a murder. It’s an exorcism. Let’s get him naked and then …”

“And then?”

“And then I’m going to fuck the vampire right out of him.”

 

Chapter 6: About Fucking Time

Tex tested his bonds. He’d been stripped and lubed and tied face-up and spread-eagled across the rapidly defrosting tundra which featured convenient tie-in points in case somebody needed to do an exorcism. He felt both helpless and powerful, at peace with whatever might happen in this kinky ritual Hunter had conceived.

Tex had never known a creature as sensitive and fragile as the beautiful Hunter or as stalwart and heroic as the generic Chris. They were the only fitting mates for his twisted, appendage-chewing, blood-seeking soul. Even if this exorcism killed him, he’d die happier than he’d ever been in his lonely carnivorous existence.

Now that he thought back, he’d never been able to connect with anyone even during his dinosaur days, had he? He’d been hatched, he supposed, but he couldn’t remember his mother, never mind the fertilizer who’d sired him. T-Rexes gave each other a wide berth, every dinosaur for himself, each predator staking off his own little section of the not-frozen-yet tundra and ravaging whatever came into it.

Ravage, ravage. It was all he’d ever known. And now, as Hunter lubed up the stake after lovingly sanding out the splinters, Tex knew that his cold, dark heart would never be the same. It’d grown three sizes that day, much like what happened to his cock when he shifted into dinosaur form.

“You sure about this?” Chris asked.

“As sure as I’ve ever been,” Hunter said, “which isn’t much. I’m kind of a fuck-up to be honest.”

Tex strained at his bonds to take Hunter’s hand. “We all are. Go for it.”

“This might hurt,” Hunter said. “But it’s only a quick burn. Once you adjust, you’ll be begging for it.”

“Understood.”

Hunter inserted the tip of the stake into his ass. It burned, as promised, but shortly Tex was overcome by a need to have more, deeper, harder. “I’m ready,” he said with a breathy exhale. “Don’t tease me, damn you.”

Hunter buried the stake in his ass with a single, ferocious thrust.

“It burns!”

“Really? This part’s usually pretty good,” Chris said. “I always like it when—”

“Burns!”

“It’s the vampire leaving him,” Hunter said. “He’s being turned to ash from the inside out.”

“Take the stake out!” Chris pleaded. “OK, now, push it back in. Now take it out. Now—”

“I know how fucking works.”

“Ha, like you’ve ever topped.”

“I’ve topped. There’s that chapter at the end where the bottom always tops.”

“We’re not at the end yet, Hunter.”

“You think this is my first rodeo, Chris?”

“Guys? Could we concentrate on …”

“Oh yeah, right. How’s that feel now?” Hunter slid the stake slowly in and out, then faster and faster until Tex’s screams morphed from pain to pleasure and come exploded from his shaft to coat his belly.

Hm. He could do much better than that as a T-Rex. Really, kind of a pitiful little puddle there, but Chris lapped it up like it was ice cream.

“My first taste of T-Rex come,” he said. “Kind of wish you still had that T-Rex body thing going on though. And that second cock.”

Tex shifted with a roar, the stake splintering into toothpicks between the globes of his muscular ass, his bonds ripping free from the convenient but inadequately justified tie-down points. He would show Chris that he was still the ferocious T-Rex he’d fallen in love with.

“Tex!” Chris exclaimed. “You’re still with us. And you’ve still got two cocks.” Chris fell to worshiping one, gesturing Hunter forward to lick the other. “It’s really a two-man job.”

Tex roared his agreement as twin tongues went to town on him, dueling heads bobbing up and down over his massive matching erections.  Fresh pleasure speared through him, but he didn’t want to come like this. They were in the final chapter of an M/M romance and they still hadn’t fucked.

He leaned down and used his tiny hands to tap on his lovers’ heads and they obeyed his summons, scurrying up his body to impale themselves, one on each of his cocks. Assume there was lube.

“Finally,” Chris groaned as he sank down onto the left shaft.

“It’s everything you said it would be,” Hunter agreed as his hole tightened around Tex’s right shaft.

Up and down they went like horses on a merry-go-round until Tex pumped them full of his dinosaur-sized loads and they shot all over the scales of his spiny stomach. He snuggled them into his limited embrace.

“You know,” Hunter said, “the author had it wrong. This was never an M/M romance.”

“Then what is it?” Chris asked.

“M/M/M.”

And they lived happily ever after.


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